I very much enjoy hiking. Often times I will hike to places I have never been just to see a view I have never seen. Unlike most hikers I dont try the latest gear, I dont shoot for some record, and often times I get bored doing the same trail twice unless my goal is to go beyond a point I had previously failed to reach. I have views that may be unpopular (at least unpopular with my age group) when it comes to hiking such as wearing mid cut boots with crew cut wool socks, thinking it is ok to go off trail to explore or answer natures call (while at the same time I avoid cuting switchbacks), and spitting sunflower seed shells off the side of the trail. I more often than not feel judged for my actions and therefore refrain from hiking in groups these days.
Mountain biking has been a hobby of mine since I would ride around in the mountains when camping as a kid. As an adult I find there are so many groups that just make it hard to find one I fit in. You've got the downhill mountain bike enthusiasts who frequent resorts, the hardtail climber who prefers trails to bike up then make the easy ride down, and then you have the casual cross country mountain biker. Im a little bit of all 3 but closer experienced to the 2nd and 3rd. While I still ride a hardtail, wear elbow and kneepads as well as inflate my tires to maybe 5 below the maximum psi I feel quite out of place when everyone around me is without padding, has full suspension, and rides tubless tires at 17psi.
I do very much enjoy video games as well. But Im not a strict loyalist to any one platform, in fact I have every platform but Playstation. That's only because the primary games I am interested in are only available on Switch or Xbox and since I play maybe an hour each month its not worth it to spend the money on a new console and games when I have other bills. I do indeed have Xbox, Switch and even PC but I dont fit in much with the PC crowd since I prefer a controller and I dont play any MMORPGs nor do I enjoy top down games. Then on xbox I dont get very competitive so I usually play solo campaigns. While I do occasionally play online multiplayer I despise objective based online multiplayer so Warzone and Large Battlefields are not variants I enjoy. In the Switch category I dont get into the technicals of Smash Bros so Im always last and Mario Kart has started to become boring for me so I usually stick to Zelda. That being said things change and hearing someone talk trash of a new Halo or Zelda game because they dont like the new direction brings me down so I tend to isolate from negativity.
Those are just a few examples and I get noone is perfect and people are more welcoming than I think it doesnt help when you have social anxiety or past traumas related to rejection.
Speaking of which I think it can be explained by my past. I learned quickly that friends where hard to keep in an area filled with lower middle class. Most close friends moved away due to parents getting better jobs or losing jobs. Other friends changed friend groups and would only hang out with me because of the toys I had. One of my very best friends I only ever saw once a month because he would stay the weekend with his grandma, so when his grandma passed away I never saw him again. More friends I thought were best friends would leave me to join a group considered to be more popular. In one instance I found out 15 years later a friend stopped hanging out with me because he began experimenting sexually with another boy which could be the equivalent of a friend leaving his friends for a girl, except we were all around age 9 or 10 which is quite concerning.
Since age 12ish I dont think I have ever had a consistant friend to hang with that lasted for more than a year before one reason or another would split us apart. Distance is a heartless witch.
Now I find myself relying on my wife to fullfill the needs of friend and spouse. It can be tough sometimes as she is busy with work quite often and I am busy with school, our schedules don't exactly line up to enjoy multiple hobbies. Often times we resort to just playing Catan or watching tv, especially since video games like Halo are difficult for her and health limits her ability to hike with me. I do try to participate in her hobbies as well but unlike me she does have friends, therefore, I leaving painting for her and her friends to do together as it doesnt interest me. If I could have a guys night while she has a girls night I would but at age 31 being a freshman in college where does one find guy friends that arent 10 years younger or tied up with family/children. One day I hope my situation changes til then I continue to search for a guy friend who just wants to be platonic.
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